The Writing Life

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Aravosis and the Big Girls

You know, I should be over this. I should be able to just forget that it happened and move on. But I have found myself clinging to the memory of the weekend and John's meltdown on Americablog. Perhaps it's because his mantra is now "Let it go", as if only he gets to decide what we think and write. I don't appear to be letting it go and I wonder if it's because he's telling me to. I don't like taking orders from people like him, meaning powerful men who call themselves progressive and yet are still weilding a stone age club when it comes to women. We must not be heard. We are good little servants, but nothing of importance.

As many other bloggers have said, his being gay doesn't give him a free pass to be sexist. His calling himself progressive doesn't mean that he gets to act like the worst of the current administration -- silencing voices of dissent, surrounding himself with yes-men by banning anyone who disagrees with him, refusing to admit mistakes, and acting like a dictator. His words are not the last words. His calling the sincere and hurt women who read his blog, "freepers, trolls, and a tiny minority" does not make us so.

He may have deleted my words, but he can't delete my voice. I'm still out here, John. You don't know who I am, but I am not a troll, nor am I a dismissable minority. I am a woman who demands respect. You have not given it to me. You are not who you were pretending to be at all, are you, John? And now that the portrait is out of the attic and in full view, I can no longer generate even a modicum of respect.

A friend of mine has decided the opposite. She wasn't around this past weekend, but I told her about it, and she read some of the opinions. She, too, was hurt by his bigotry. After writing him an angry email, she regretted it. He wrote back, telling her how hurt he'd been by the ruckus, quoting a "feminist" who didn't object to the "Big Girl" comment, as though that made it all okay. My friend forgave him. I understand this. He meant more to her than he did to me. To me, it was just a blog where I could get news. She cared about the man behind the blog.

I'll find other sites for news. I'm happy watching Countdown with Keith Olberman, a man I really can respect. As for Americablog, good-bye. No funds, no comments, no respect whatsoever for the emporer who wears no clothes.

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